In an effort to be real, and to share the real depths of what I’m coping with to someone, I thought I’d share an account of my current “flare up” – a period where my symptoms increase temporarily.
My current context is making it a little harder to cope. I’ve lost some of my oomph.
For about a year I’ve been dealing with the (sometimes) extreme side effects of being pregnant, giving birth and looking after a tiny baby, while dealing with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. This has chipped away at my reserves and I’m now emotionally and physically near bottom.
A few weeks ago I got a bug that required antibiotics to kick. Then my baby got it. Combine the sleep deprivation that comes with a sick baby and the increase in fatigue after illness, and you also score and increase in pain symptoms.
My neck has been so bad that two nights ago, when I got up to my baby to feed at 2am, the pain caused me to throw up.
Since then I’ve managed to keep going (barely) with the help of ibuprofen, paracetamol and my wheat pack.
My stomach has also decided to join in. I’m hungry, but too tired to eat. It’s also hard to eat when the baby demands to be held right when you’ve managed to heat up the food. So I’ve been eating soup, sometimes cold.
My shoulders and back have been more tight, causing the occasional stabbing pain. The type that causes you to stand still for a few moments to ensure you won’t be beset by a raft of stabbing pains causing a day in bed and very strong pain killers.
The silver lining is that I know it will end. I know I’ll cope. I also know I’m doing well, considering this is new to cope with the pain and fatigue with a baby – I can’t go to bed and rest til it’s over!
It’s hard. And there is so much more I haven’t shared. But it’ll end. And I’ll be OK.