If you could articulate just what is involved in having a newborn baby, people would think it’s impossible. The sheer amount of hours spent awake, the guessing games, trying to feed this being, trying to guess what the crying means, the laundry it creates…it’s a lot.
But it is one of life’s odd paradoxes. For me it was the worst and best time of my life.
I’ve always been honest with how hard it has been for me, especially with the additional pain and fatigue. But at the same time, I am so in love with this little guy.
It has been the most amazing learning curve.
God gave this baby to me.
That’s a huge responsibility!
I have been looking back at photos and there are some taken on the second, third and fourth days. These are days I couldn’t sleep, baby struggled with getting enough food and then the wind it caused. I had tremendous amounts of pain. Yet in these photos I am transfixed by the little guy. I am absolutely in awe of him.
That’s what people tend to remember years later.
I’m unsure if I could do it all over again. If I could handle the physicality of having another child and if I could manage everything plus the little guy I already have been given.
He’s my blessing. He’s been a lot of work and it’s still going. But he was given to me. And I thank God for him everyday.