I have struggled with body issues for forever (don’t most women?). Before I was struck by the chronic fatigue syndrome in in my last year of university, I exercised a lot. I walked everywhere and I went to the gym. Sometimes I walked to the gym (20 mins each way).
Before I left my full time job I was forcing myself to walk as much as possible and do one Pilates class each week. But my legs, glutes and lower back were ALWAYS tight and sore.
When I changed my lifestyle, I allowed myself to find the balance between enough exercise but not so much that it hurt. I walked 20-30 minutes each day and did a 20-30 minute Pilates or yoga routine three times a week. But I was less rigid on “bad” days.
Due to my body type and my previous levels of exercise I have very muscular legs. So when my pregnancy forced me to slow down (a very slow 20 minute walk by my last day) my legs became less defined.
As I progress further from pregnancy and my baby sleeps a bit better, I am able to pick it up a little. I have been able to do more walking and exploring which I love to do. I love finding a new walkway or beach and I love sharing this with my boy and husband. Numerous family adventures include walking in new places.
With the tremendously low levels of energy and high levels of pain that I have experienced since I had my boy, I have come to look at food more as fuel. I am more relaxed about it. My husband loves that I am not super finicky about food (as I’d have to be to maintain a tiny figure). Though, he does love the idea of my having a flat tummy!
I have a better understanding of food and exercise for fuel and survival, rather than aesthetic reasons. But I still struggle with my body image and that is a work in progress. I am learning to be thankful for what my body can do. That it carries me through each day, even if some of those days are slower than others and all of them are slower than most people’s. Having chronic pain means that I am more aware of my body and all of the work it does to keep me alive. And for this, I am thankful.