Chronic illness is like having an invisible box surrounding your life. Noone can see the confines, not even you at times. Yet they are all too present. Constricting when you least expect it. Never seeming to widen.
You can see others and what they can do, but you can’t keep up. And they can’t see why you can’t.
Your significant other’s (and children’s) life becomes constricted also. So that you must fight your own box and theirs.
Your guilt over the effect of your illness on them can eclipse even your grief of what illness has taken from you.
It can be a double sentence.
The only way out is through. Some days are harder than others, but you have to keep going. Because there’s no other way, and noone can truly help. It’s you, your body and God.
When you’re having a tough day (week/year/life) it’s useful to rememeber to seek fellowship (I belong to two fantastic Facebook groups and have a few key people) and gratitude. Try to remember the things you are thankful for. Because pain and fatigue and fog and headaches (the list goes on) cannot take that from you.
I’m thankful for my son, my husband, my family, my dog, my home. I pray these will never be taken from me by my invisible box. That my people will bear with me and endeavour to help me reach outside of the box.